Chapter 52
FROM Little Britain, I went, with my cheque in my pocket, to Miss
Skiffins's brother, the accountant; and Miss Skiffins's brother, the
accountant, going straight to Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker to
me, I had the great satisfaction of concluding that arrangement. It
was the only good thing I had done, and the only completed thing
I had done, since I was first apprised of my great expectations.
Clarriker informing me on that occasion that the affairs of the
House were steadily progressing, that he would now be able to
establish a small branch-house in the East which was much wanted
for the extension of the business, and that Herbert in his new part-
nership capacity would go out and take charge of it, I found that I
must have prepared for a separation from my friend, even though
my own affairs had been more settled. And now indeed I felt as if
my last anchor were loosening its hold, and I should soon be driv-
ing with the winds and waves.
But, there was recompense in the joy with which Herbert would
come home of a night and tell me of these changes, little imagining
that he told me no news, and would sketch airy pictures of himself
conducting Clara Barley to the land of the Arabian Nights, and of
me going out to join them (with a caravan of camels, I believe), and
of our all going up the Nile and seeing wonders. Without being
sanguine as to my own part in these bright plans, I felt that Her-
bert's way was clearing fast, and that old Bill Barley had but to stick
to his pepper and rum, and his daughter would soon be happily
provided for.
We had now got into the month of March. My left arm, though
it presented no bad symptoms, took in the natural course so long
to heal that I was still unable to get a coat on. My right arm was
tolerably restored; -- disfigured, but fairly serviceable.
On a Monday morning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast, I
received the following letter from Wemmick by the post.
`Walworth. Burn this as soon as read. Early in the week, or say
Wednesday, you might do what you know of, if you felt disposed to
try it. Now burn.'
When I had shown this to Herbert and had put it in the fire -- but
not before we had both got it by heart -- we considered what to do.
For, of course my being disabled could now be no longer kept out
of view.
`I have thought it over, again and again,' said Herbert, `and I
think I know a better course than taking a Thames waterman. Take
Startop. A good fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and enthusiastic
and honourable.'
I had thought of him, more than once.
`But how much would you tell him, Herbert?'
`It is necessary to tell him very little. Let him suppose it a mere
freak, but a secret one, until the morning comes: then let him know
that there is urgent reason for your getting Provis aboard and away.
You go with him?'
`No doubt.'
`Where?'
It had seemed to me, in the many anxious considerations I had
given the point, almost indifferent what port we made for -- Ham-
burg, Rotterdam, Antwerp -- the place signified little, so that he was
got out of England. Any foreign steamer that fell in our way and
would take us up, would do. I had always proposed to myself to
get him well down the river in the boat; certainly well beyond
Gravesend, which was a critical place for search or inquiry if suspi-
cion were afoot. As foreign steamers would leave London at about
the time of high-water, our plan would be to get down the river
by a previous ebb-tide, and lie by in some quiet spot until we could
pull off to one. The time when one would be due where we lay,
wherever that might be, could be calculated pretty nearly, if we
made inquiries beforehand.
Herbert assented to all this, and we went out immediately after
breakfast to pursue our investigations. We found that a steamer
for Hamburg was likely to suit our purpose best, and we directed
our thoughts chiefly to that vessel. But we noted down what other
foreign steamers would leave London with the same tide, and we
satisfied ourselves that we knew the build and colour of each. We
then separated for a few hours; I, to get at once such passports as
were necessary; Herbert, to see Startop at his lodgings. We both
did what we had to do without any hindrance, and when we met
again at one o'clock reported it done. I, for my part, was prepared
with passports; Herbert had seen Startop, and he was more than
ready to join.
Those two should pull a pair of oars, we settled, and I would
steer; our charge would be sitter, and keep quiet; as speed was not
our object, we should make way enough. We arranged that Her-
bert should not come home to dinner before going to Mill Pond
Bank that evening; that he should not go there at all, to-morrow
evening, Tuesday; that he should prepare Provis to come down to
some Stairs hard by the house, on Wednesday, when he saw us
approach, and not sooner; that all the arrangements with him
should be concluded that Monday night; and that he should be
communicated with no more in any way, until we took him on
board.
These precautions well understood by both of us, I went home.
On opening the outer door of our chambers with my key, I
found a letter in the box, directed to me; a very dirty letter, though
not ill-written. It had been delivered by hand (of course since I left
home), and its contents were these:
`If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes to-night or to-
morrow night at Nine, and to come to the little sluice-house by the
limekiln, you had better come. If you want information regarding
your uncle Provis, you had much better come and tell no one and lose
no time. You must come alone. Bring this with you.'
I had had load enough upon my mind before the receipt of this
strange letter. What to do now, I could not tell. And the worst was,
that I must decide quickly, or I should miss the afternoon coach,
which would take me down in time for to-night. To-morrow night
I could not think of going, for it would be too close upon the time
of the flight. And again, for anything I knew, the proffered in-
formation might have some important bearing on the flight itself.
If I had had ample time for consideration, I believe I should still
have gone. Having hardly any time for consideration -- my watch
showing me that the coach started within half an hour -- I resolved
to go. I should certainly not have gone, but for the reference to my
Uncle Provis; that, coming on Wemmick's letter and the morning's
busy preparation, turned the scale.
It is so difficult to become clearly possessed of the contents of
almost any letter, in a violent hurry, that I had to read this mysteri-
ous epistle again, twice, before its injunction to he to be secret got
mechanically into my mind. Yielding to it in the same mechanical
kind of way, I left a note in pencil for Herbert, telling him that as I
should be so soon going away, I knew not for how long, I had de-
cided to hurry down and back, to ascertain for myself how Miss
Havisham was faring. I had then barely time to get my great-coat,
lock up the chambers, and make for the coach-office by the short
by-ways. If I had taken a hackney-chariot and gone by the streets,
I should have missed my aim; going as I did, I caught the coach just
as it came out of the yard. I was the only inside passenger, jolting
away knee-deep in straw, when I came to myself.
For, I really had not been myself since the receipt of the letter; it
had so bewildered me ensuing on the hurry of the morning. The
morning hurry and flutter had been great, for, long and anxiously
as I had waited for Wemmick, his hint had come like a surprise at
last. And now, I began to wonder at myself for being in the coach,
and to doubt whether I had sufficient reason for being there, and to
consider whether I should get out presently and go back, and to
argue against ever heeding an anonymous communication, and, in
short, to pass through all those phases of contradiction and in-
decision to which I suppose very few hurried people are strangers.
Still, the reference to Provis by name, mastered everything. I
reasoned as I had reasoned already without knowing it -- if that be
reasoning -- in case any harm should befall him through my not
going, how could I ever forgive myself!
It was dark before we got down, and the journey seemed long
and dreary to me who could see little of it inside, and who could
not go outside in my disabled state. Avoiding the Blue Boar, I put
up at an inn of minor reputation down the town, and ordered some
dinner. While it was preparing, I went to Satis House and inquired
for Miss Havisham; she was still very ill, though considered some-
thing better.
My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiastical house,
and I dined in a little octagonal common-room, like a font. As I
was not able to cut my dinner, the old landlord with a shining bald
head did it for me. This bringing us into conversation, he was so
good as to entertain me with my own story -- of course with the
popular feature that Pumblechook was my earliest benefactor and
the founder of my fortunes.
`Do you know the young man?' said I.
`Know him!' repeated the landlord. `Ever since he was -- no
height at all.'
`Does he ever come back to this neighbourhood?'
`Ay, he comes back,' said the landlord, `to his great friends, now
and again, and gives the cold shoulder to the man that made him.'
`What man is that?'
`Him that I speak of,' said the landlord. `Mr Pumblechook.'
`Is he ungrateful to no one else?'
`No doubt he would be, if he could,' returned the landlord, `but
he can't. And why ? Because Pumblechook done everything for
him.'
`Does Pumblechook say so ?'
`Say so!' replied the landlord. `He han't no call to say so.'
`But does he say so?'
`It would turn a man's blood to white wine winegar to hear him
tell of it, sir,' said the landlord.
I thought, `Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long-suffering
and loving Joe, you never complain. Nor you, sweet-tempered
Biddy!'
`Your appetite's been touched like, by your accident,' said the
landlord, glancing at the bandaged arm under my coat. `Try a
tenderer bit.'
`No thank you,' I replied, turning from the table to brood over
the fire. `I can eat no more. Please take it away.'
I had never been struck at so keenly, for my thanklessness to
Joe, as through the brazen impostor Pumblechook. The fulser he,
the truer Joe; the meaner he, the nobler Joe.
My heart was deeply and most deservedly humbled as I mused
over the fire for an hour or more. The striking of the clock aroused
me, but not from my dejection or remorse, and I got up and had
my coat fastened round my neck, and went out. I had previoualy
sought in my pockets for the letter, that I might refer to it again,
but I could not find it, and was uneasy to think that it must have
been dropped in the straw of the coach. I knew very well, however,
that the appointed place was the little aluice-house by the limekiln
on the marshes, and the hour nine. Towards the marshes I now
went straight, having no time to spare.
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