Chapter 7
AT the time when I stood in the churchyard, reading the family
tombstones, I had just enough learning to be able to spell them out.
My construction even of their simple meaning was not very correct,
for I read `wife of the Above' as a complimentary reference to my
futher's exaltation to a better world; and if any one of my deceased
relations had been referred to as `Below,' I have no doubt I should
have formed the worst opinions of that member of the family.
Neither, were my notions of the theological positions to which my
Catechism bound me, at all accurate; for, I have a lively remem-
brance that I supposed my declaration that I was to `walk in the
same all the days of my life,' laid me under an obligation always to
go through the village from our house in one particular direction,
and never to vary it by turning down by the wheelwright's or up
by the mill.
When I was old enough, I was to be apprenticed to Joe, and until
I could assume that dignity I was not to be what Mrs Joe called
`Pompeyed,' or (as I render it) pampered. Therefore, I was not
only odd-boy about the forge, but if any neighbour happened to
want an extra boy to frighten birds, or pick up stones, or do any
such job, I was favoured with the employment. In order, however.
that our superior position might not be compromised thereby, a
money-box was kept on the kitchen mantel-shelf, into which it was
publicly made known that all my earnings were dropped. I have
an impression that they were to be contributed eventually towards
the liquidation of the National Debt, but I know I had no hope of
any personal participation in the treasure.
Mr Wopsle's great-aunt kept an evening school in the village;
that is to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited means and
unlimited infirmity, who used to go to sleep from six to seven
every evening, in the society of youth who paid twopence per week
each, for the improving opportunity of seeing her do it. She rented
a small cottage, and Mr Wopsle had the room up-stairs, where we
students used to overhear him reading aloud in a most dignified
and terrific manner, and occasionally bumping on the ceiling.
There was a fiction that Mr Wopale `examined' the scholars, once
a quarter. What he did on those occasions was to turn up his cuffs,
stick up his hair, and give us Mark Antony's oration over the body
of Caesar. This was always followed by Collins's Ode on the
Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr Wopale as Revenge,
throwing his blood-stained sword in thunder down, and taking the
War-denouncing trumpet with a withering look. It was not with
me then, as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the
passions, and compared them with Collins and Wopale, rather to
the disadvantage of both gentlemen.
Mr Wopale's great-aunt, besides keeping this Educational In-
stitution, kept -- in the same room -- a little general shop. She had no
idea what stock she had, or what the price of anything in it was;
but there was a little greasy memorandum-book kept in a drawer,
which served as a Catalogue of Prices, and by this oracle Biddy
arranged all the shop transactions. Biddy was Mr Wopale's great-
aunt's granddaughter; I confess myself quite unequal to the
working out of the problem, what relation she was to Mr Wopsle.
She was an orphan like myself; like me, too, had been brought up
by hand. She was most noticeable, I thought, in respect of her
extremities; for, her hair always wanted brushing, her hands always
wanted washing, and her shoes always wanted mending and pulling
up at heel. This description must be received with a week-day
limitation. On Sundays, she went to church elaborated.
Much of my unassisted self, and more by the help of Biddy than
of Mr Wopsle's great-aunt, I struggled through the alphabet as
if it had been a bramble-bush; getting considerably worried and
scratched by every letter. After that, I fell among those thieves,
the nine figures, who seemed every evening to do something new
to disguise themselves and baffle recognition. But, at last I began, in
a purblind groping way, to read, write, and cipher, on the very
smallest scale.
One night, I was sitting in the chimney-corner with my slate,
expending great efforts on the production of a letter to Joe. I
think it must have been a full year after our hunt upon the marshes,
for it was a long time after, and it was winter and a hard frost.
With an alphabet on the hearth at my feet for reference, I contrived
in an hour or two to print and smear this epistle:
`MI DEER JO i OPE U R gRWrTE WELL i OpE i SHAL
soN B HhBELL 42 TEEDGE U JO AN 7HEN wE SHORL a
sO OLODD hN wEN i M PRENOTD 2 U JO wOT LhRX
flNBLEvEMErNFxNPrP.'
There was no indispensable necessity for my communicating
with Joe by letter, inasmuch as he sat beside me and we were alone.
But, I delivered this written communication (slate and all) with my
own hand, and Joe received it as a miracle of erudition.
`I say, Pip, old chap!' cried Joe, opening his blue eyes wide,
`what a scholar you are! An't you ?'
`I should like to be,' said I, glancing at the slate as he held it:
with a misgiving that the writing was mther hilly.
`Why, here's a J,' said Joe, `and a O equal to anythink! Here's a
J and a O, Pip, and a J-O, Joe.'
I had never heard Joe read aloud to any greater extent than this
monosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday when I
accidentally held our Prayer-Book upside down, that it seemed to
suit his convenience quite as well as if it had been all right. Wishing
to embrace the present occasion of finding out whether in teaching
Joe, I should have to begin quite at the beginning, I said, `Ah! But
read the rest, Jo.'
`The rest, eh, Pip ? ' said Joe, looking at it with a slowly search-
ing eye, `One, two, three. Why, here's three Js, and three Os, and
three J-O, Joes in it, Pip!'
I leaned over Joe, and, with the aid of my forefinger, read him
the whole letter.
`Astonishing! ' said Joe, when I had finished. `You AA RE a
scholar.'
`How do you spell Gargery, Joe?' I asked him, with a modest
patronage.
`I don't spell it at all,' said Joe.
`But supposing you did?'
`It can't be supposed,' said Joe. `Tho' I'm oncommon fond of
reading, too.'
`Are you, Joe?'
`On-common. Give me,' said Joe, `a good book, or a good news-
paper, and sit me down afore a good fire, and I ask no better.
Lord!' he continued, after rubbing his knees a little, `when you do
come to a J and a O, and says you, ``Here, at last, is a J-O, Joe,''
how interesting reading is!'
I derived from this last, that Joe's education, like Steam, was
yet in its infancy. Pursuing the subject, I inquired:
`Didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as
me?'
`No, Pip.'
`Why didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little
as me?'
`Well, Pip,' said Joe, taking up the poker, and settling himself
to his usual occupation when he was thoughtful, of slowly raking
the fire between the lower bars: `I'll tell you. My father, Pip, he
were given to drink, and when he were overtook with drink, he
hammered away at my mother, most onmerciful. It were a'most the
only hammering he did, indeed, 'xcepting at myself. And he ham-
mered at me with a wigour only to be equalled by the wigour with
which he didn't hammer at his anwil. -- You're a listening and
understandin g, Pip ?'
`Yes, Joe.'
`'Consequence, my mother and me we ran away from my father,
several times; and then my mother she'd go out to work, and she'd
say, ``Joe,'' she'd say, ``now, please God, you shall have some
schooling, child,'' and she'd put me to school. But my father were
that good in his hart that he couldn't abear to be without us. So,
he'd come with a most tremenjous crowd and make such a row at
the doors of the houses where we was, that they used to be obli-
gated to have no more to do with us and to give us up to him.
And then he took us home and hammered us. Which, you see,
Pip,' said Joe, pausing in his meditative raking of the fire, and
looking at me, `were a drawback on my learning.'
`Certainly, poor Joe!'
`Though mind you, Pip,' said Joe, with a judicial touch or two
of the poker on the top bar, `rendering unto all their doo, and
maintaining equal justice betwixt man and man, my father were that
good in his hart, don't you see? '
I didn't see; but I didn't say so.
`Well!' Joe pursued, `somebody must keep the pot a biling
Pip, or the pot won't bile, don't you know?'
I saw that, and said so.
`'Consequence, my father didn't make objections to my going
to work; so I went to work at my present calling, which were his
too, if he would have followed it, and I worked tolerable hard, I
assure you, Pip. In time I were able to keep him, and I kep him till
he went off in a purple leptic fit. And it were my intentions to have
had put upon his tombstone that Whatsume'er the failings on his
part, Remember reader he were that good in his hart.'
Joe recited this couplet with such manifest pride and careful
perspicuity, that I asked him if he had made it himself.
`I made it,' said Joe, `my own self. I made it in a moment. It was
like striking out a horseshoe complete, in a single blow. I never
was so much surprised in all my life -- couldn't credit my own ed --
to tell you the truth, hardly believed it were my own ed. As I
was saying, Pip, it were my intentions to have had it cut over him;
but poetry costs money, cut it how you will, small or large, and
it were not done. Not to mention bearers, all the money that could
be spared were wanted for my mother. She were in poor elth, and
quite broke. She weren't long of following, poor soul, and her
share of peace come round at last.'
Joe's blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed, first one of
them, and then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable
manner, with the round knob on the top of the poker.
`It were but lonesome then,' said Joe, `living here alone, and I
got acquainted with your sister. Now, Pip;' Joe looked firmly at
me, as if he knew I was not going to agree with him; `your sister
is a fine figure of a woman.'
I could not help looking at the fire, in an obvious state of doubt.
`Whatever family opinions, or whatever the world's opinions,
on that subject may be, Pip, your sister is,' Joe tapped the top bar
with the poker after every word following, `a -- fine -- figure -- of --
a-- woman!'
I could think of nothing better to say than `I am glad you think
so, Joe.'
`So am I,' returned Joe, catching me up. `I am glad I think so,
Pip. A little redness, or a little matter of Bone, here or there, what
does it signify to Me?'
I sagaciously observed, if it didn't signify to him, to whom did it
signify?
`Certainly!' assented Joe. `That's it. You're right, old chapl
When I got acquainted with your sister, it were the talk how she
was bringing you up by hand. Very kind of her too, all the folks
said, and I said, along with all the folks. As to you,' Joe pursued,
with a countenance expressive of seeing something very nasty
indeed: `if you could have been aware how small and flabby and
mean you was, dear me, you'd have formed the most contemptible
opinions of yourself!'
Not exactly relishing this, I said, `Never mind me, Joe.'
`But I did mind you, Pip,' he returned, with tender simplicity.
`When I offered to your sister to keep company, and to be asked
in church at such times as she was willing and ready to come to the
forge, I said to her, ``And bring the poor little child. God bless the
poor little child,'' I said to your sister, ``there's room for him at the
forge!''
I broke out crying and begging pardon, and hugged Joe round
the neck: who dropped the poker to hug me, and to say, `Ever
the best of friends; an't us, Pip? Don't cry, old chap!'
When this little interruption was over, Joe resumed:
`Well, you see, Pip, and here we are! That's about where it
lights; here we are! Now, when you take me in hand in my learn-
ing, Pip (and I tell you beforehand I am awful dull, most awful
dull), Mrs Joe mustn't see too much of what we're up to. It must
be done, as I may say, on the sly- And why on the sly? I'll tell you
why, Pip.'
He had taken up the poker again; without which, I doubt if he
could have proceeded in his demonstration.
`Your sister is given to government.'
`Given to government Joe?' I was startled, for I had some
shadowy idea (and I am afraid I must add, hope) that Joe had
divorced her in favour of the Lords of the Admiralty, or Treasury.
`Given to government,' said Joe. `Which I meantersay the
government of you and myself.'
`Oh!'
`And she an't over partial to having scholars on the premises,'
Joe continued, `and in partickler would not be over partial to my
being a scholar, for fear as I might rise. Like a sort of rebel, don't
you see?'
I was going to retort with an inquiry, and had got as far as
`Why --' when Joe stopped me.
`Stay a bit. I know what you're a-going to say, Pip; stay a bit!
I don't deny that your sister comes the Mo-gul over us, now and
again. I don't deny that she do throw us back-falls, and that she do
drop down upon us heavy. At such times as when your sister is on
the Ram-page, Pip,' Joe sank his voice to a whisper and glanced at
the door, `candour compels fur to admit that she is a Buster.'
Joe pronounced this word, as if it began with at least twelve
capital Bs.
`Why don't I rise? That were your observation when I broke it
off, Pip?'
`Yes, Joe.'
`Well,' said Joe, passing the poker into his left hand, that he
might feel his whisker; and I had no hope of him whenever he
took to that placid occupation; `your sister's a master-mind. A
master-mind.'
`What's that?' I asked, in some hope of bringing him to a stand.
But, Joe was readier with his definition than I had expected, and
completely stopped me by arguing circularly, and answering with
a fixed look, `Her.'
`And I an't a master-mind,' Joe resumed, when he had unfixed
his look, and got back to his whisker. `And last of all, Pip -- and
this I want to say very serous to you, old chap -- I see so much
in my poor mother, of a woman drudging and slaving and breaking
her honest hart and never getting no peace in her mortal days, that
I'm dead afeerd of going wrong in the way of not doing what's
right by a woman, and I'd fur rather of the two go wrong the
t'other way, and be a little ill-conwenienced myself. I wish it was
only me that got put out, Pip; I wish there warn't no Tickler for
you, old chap; I wish I could take it all on myself; but this is the
up-and-down-and-straight on it, Pip, and I hope you'll overlook
shortcomings.'
Young as I was, I believe that I dated a new admiration of Joe
from that night. We were equals afterwards, as we had been before;
but, afterwards at quiet times when I sat looking at Joe and think-
ing about him, I had a new sensation of feeling conscious that I
was looking up to Joe in my heart.
`However,' said Joe, rising to replenish the fire; `here's the
Dutch-clock a working himself up to being equal to strike Eight
of 'em, and she's not come home yet! I hope Uncle Pumblechook's
mare mayn't have set-a fore-foot on a piece o' ice, and gone down.'
Mrs Joe made occasional trips with Uncle Pumblechook on
market-days, to assist him in buying such household stuffs and
goods as required a woman's judgment; Uncle Pumblechook being
a bachelor and reposing no confidences in his domestic servant.
This was market-day, and Mrs Joe was out on one of these
expeditions.
Joe made the fire and swept the hearth, and then we went to the
door to listen for the chaise-cart. It was a dry cold night, and the
wind blew keenly, and the frost was white and hard. A man would
die to-night of lying out on the marshes, I thought. And then I
looked at the stars, and considered how awful it would be for a
man to turn his fuce up to them as he froze to death, and see no
help or pity in all the glittering multitude.
`Here comes the mare,' said Joe, `ringing like a peal of bells!'
The sound of her iron shoes upon the hard road was quite
musical, as she came along at a much brisker trot than usual. We
got a chair out, ready for Mrs Joe's alighting, and stirred up the
fire that they might see a bright window, and took a final survey of
the kitchen that nothing might be out of its place. When we had
completed these preparations, they drove up, wrapped to the eyes.
Mrs Joe was soon landed, and Uncle Pumblechook was soon down
too, covering the mare with a cloth, and we were soon all in the
kitchen, carrying so much cold air in with us that it seemed to drive
all the heat out of the fire.
`Now,' said Mrs Joe, unwrapping herself with haste and excite-
ment, and throwing her bonnet back on her shoulders where it
hung by the strings: `if this boy an't grateful this night, he never
will be!'
I looked as grateful as any boy possibly could, who was wholly
uninformed why he ought to assume that expression.
`It's only to be hoped,' said my sister, `that he won't be Pomp-
eyed. But I have my fears.'
`She an't in that line, Mum,' said Mr Pumblechook. `She knows
better.'
She? I looked at Joe, making the motion with my lips and eye-
brows, `She?' Joe looked at me, making the motion with his lips
and eyebrows, `She?' My sister catching him in the act, he drew
the back of his hand across his nose with his usual conciliatory
air on such occasions, and looked at her.
`Well?' said my sister, in her snappish way. `What are you
staring at? Is the house a-fire?'
`-- Which some individual,' Joe politely hinted, `mentioned-- she.'
`And she is a she, I suppose?' said my sister. `Unless you call
Miss Havisham a he. And I doubt if even you'll go so far as that.'
`Miss Havisham, up town?' said Joe.
`Is there any Miss Havisham down town?' returned my sister.
`She wants this boy to go and play there. And of course he's going.
And he had better play there,' said my sister, shaking her head at
me as an encouragement to be extremely light and sportive, `or I'll
work him.'
I had heard of Miss Havisham up town -- everybody for miles
round, had heard of Miss Havisham up town -- as an immensely
rich and grim lady who lived in a large and dismal house barricaded
against robbers, and who led a life of seclusion.
`Well to be sure!' said Joe, astounded. `I wonder how she come
to know Pip!'
`Noodlel' cried my sister. `Who said she knew him?'
`-- Which some individual,' Joe again politely hinted, `mentioned
that she wanted him to go and play there.'
`And couldn't she ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy
to go and play there? Isn't it just barely possible that Uncle
Pumblechook may be a tenant of hers, and that he may sometimes --
we won't say quarterly or half-yearly, for that would be requiring
too much of you -- but sometimes -- go there to pay his rent? And
couldn't she then ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go
and play there? And couldn't Uncle Pumblechook, being always
considerate and thoughtful for us -- though you may not think it,
Joseph,' in a tone of the deepest reproach, as if he were the most
callous of nephews, `then mention this boy, standing Prancing
here' -- which I solemnly declare I was not doing -- `that I have for
ever been a willing slave to?'
`Good again!' cried Uncle Pumblechook. `Well putl Prettily
pot-nted! Good indeed! Now Joseph, you know the case.'
`No, Joseph,' said my sister, still in a reproachful manner, while
Joe apologetically drew the back of his hand across and across his
nose, `you do not yet -- though you may not think it -- know the
case. You may consider that you do, but you do not, Joseph. For
you do not know that Uncle Pumblechook, being sensible that for
anything we can tell, this boy's fortune may be made by his going
to Miss Havisham's, has offered to take him into town to-night in
his own chaise-cart, and to keep him to-night, and to take him with
his own hands to Miss Havisham's to-morrow morning. And
Lor-a-mussy me!' cried my sister, casting off her bonnet in sudden
desperation, `here I stand talking to mere Mooncalfs, with Uncle
Pumblechook waiting, and the mare catching cold at the door, and
the boy grimed with crock and dirt from the hair of his head to the
sole of his foot!'
With that, she pounced upon me, like an eagle on a lamb, and
my face was squeezed into wooden bowls in sinks, and my head
was put under taps of water-butts, and I was soaped, and kneaded,
and towelled, and thumped, and harrowed, and rasped, until I
really was quite beside myself. (I may here remark that I suppose
myself to be better acquainted than any living authority, with the
ridgy effect of a wedding-ring, passing unsympathetically over the
human countenance.)
When my ablutions were completed, I was put into clean linen
of the stiffest character, like a young penitent into sackcloth, and
was trussed up in my tightest and fearfullest suit. I was then
delivered over to Mr Pumblechook, who formally received me as
if he were the Sheriff, and who let off upon me the speech that I
knew he had been dying to make all along: `Boy, be for ever
grateful to all friends, but especially unto them which brought you
up by hand!'
`Good-bye, Joe!'
`God bless you, Pip, old chap!'
I had never parted from him before, and what with my feelings
and what with soap-suds, I could at first see no stars from the
chaise-cart. But they twinkled out one by one, without throwing
any light on the questions why on earth I was going to play at Miss
Havisham's, and what on earth I was expected to play at.
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