Jonathan Harker's Journal Continued
I awoke in my own bed. If it be that I had not dreamt,
the Count must have carried me here. I tried to satisfy
myself on the subject, but could not arrive at any unquestionable result. To be sure, there were certain small
evidences, such as that my clothes were folded and laid by
in a manner which was not my habit. My watch was still
unwound, and I am rigorously accustomed to wind it the last
thing before going to bed, and many such details. But these
things are no proof, for they may have been evidences that
my mind was not as usual, and, for some cause or another, I
had certainly been much upset. I must watch for proof. Of one
thing I am glad. If it was that the Count carried me here and
undressed me, he must have been hurried in his task, for my
pockets are intact. I am sure this diary would have been a
mystery to him which he would not have brooked. He would have
taken or destroyed it. As I look round this room, although
it has been to me so full of fear, it is now a sort of sanctuary, for nothing can be more dreadful than those awful
women, who were, who are, waiting to suck my blood.
18 May.--I have been down to look at that room again in
daylight, for I must know the truth. When I got to the doorway at the top of the stairs I found it closed. It had been
so forcibly driven against the jamb that part of the woodwork was splintered. I could see that the bolt of the lock
had not been shot, but the door is fastened from the inside.
I fear it was no dream, and must act on this surmise.
19 May.--I am surely in the toils. Last night the Count
asked me in the sauvest tones to write three letters, one
saying that my work here was nearly done, and that I should
start for home within a few days, another that I was starting
on the next morning from the time of the letter, and the
third that I had left the castle and arrived at Bistritz. I
would fain have rebelled, but felt that in the present state
of things it would be madness to quarrel openly with the
Count whilst I am so absolutely in his power. And to refuse
would be to excite his suspicion and to arouse his anger. He
knows that I know too much, and that I must not live, lest I
be dangerous to him. My only chance is to prolong my opportunities. Something may occur which will give ma a chance to
escape. I saw in his eyes something of that gathering wrath
which was manifest when he hurled that fair woman from him.
He explained to me that posts were few and uncertain, and
that my writing now would ensure ease of mind to my friends.
And he assured me with so much impressiveness that he would
countermand the later letters, which would be held over at
Bistritz until due time in case chance would admit of my
prolonging my stay, that to oppose him would have been to
create new suspicion. I therefore pretended to fall in with
his views, and asked him what dates I should put on the
letters.
He calculated a minute, and then said, "The first
should be June 12,the second June 19,and the third June 29."
I know now the span of my life. God help me!
28 May.--There is a chance of escape, or at any rate of
being able to send word home. A band of Szgany have come to
the castle, and are encamped in the courtyard. These are
gipsies. I have notes of them in my book. They are peculiar
to this part of the world, though allied to the ordinary
gipsies all the world over. There are thousands of them in
Hungary and Transylvania, who are almost outside all law.
They attach themselves as a rule to some great noble or
boyar, and call themselves by his name. They are fearless
and without religion, save superstition, and they talk only
their own varieties of the Romany tongue.
I shall write some letters home, and shall try to get
them to have them posted. I have already spoken to them
through my window to begin acquaintanceship. They took their
hats off and made obeisance and many signs, which however, I
could not understand any more than I could their spoken
language . . .
I have written the letters. Mina's is in shorthand, and
I simply ask Mr. Hawkins to communicate with her. To her I
have explained my situation, but without the horrors which I
may only surmise. It would shock and frighten her to death
were I to expose my heart to her. Should the letters not
carry, then the Count shall not yet know my secret or the
extent of my knowledge . . .
I have given the letters. I threw them through the bars
of my window with a gold piece, and made what signs I could
to have them posted. The man who took them pressed them to
his heart and bowed, and then put them in his cap. I could
do no more. I stole back to the study, and began to read. As
the Count did not come in, I have written here . . .
The Count has come. He sat down beside me, and said in
his smoothest voice as he opened two letters, "The Szgany
has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they
come, I shall, of course, take care. See!"--He must have
looked at it.--"One is from you, and to my friend Peter
Hawkins. The other,"--here he caught sight of the strange
symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came
into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly,--"The other is
a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It
is not signed. Well! So it cannot matter to us."And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till
they were consumed.
Then he went on, "The letter to Hawkins, that I shall,
of course send on, since it is yours. Your letters are sacred
to me. Your pardon, my friend, that unknowingly I did break
the seal. Will you not cover it again?"He held out the letter
to me, and with a courteous bow handed me a clean envelope.
I could only redirect it and hand it to him in silence.
When he went out of the room I could hear the key turn softly. A minute later I went over and tried it, and the door
was locked.
When, an hour or two after, the Count came quietly into
the room, his coming awakened me, for I had gone to sleep on
the sofa. He was very courteous and very cheery in his manner,
and seeing that I had been sleeping, he said, "So, my friend,
you are tired? Get to bed. There is the surest rest. I may
not have the pleasure of talk tonight, since there are many
labours to me, but you will sleep, I pray."
I passed to my room and went to bed, and, strange to
say, slept without dreaming. Despair has its own calms.
31 May.--This morning when I woke I thought I would
provide myself with some papers and envelopes from my bag
and keep them in my pocket, so that I might write in case I
should get an opportunity, but again a surprise, again a
shock!
Every scrap of paper was gone, and with it all my notes,
my memoranda, relating to railways and travel, my letter of
credit, in fact all that might be useful to me were I once
outside the castle. I sat and pondered awhile, and then some
thought occurred to me, and I made search of my portmanteau
and in the wardrobe where I had placed my clothes.
The suit in which I had travelled was gone, and also my
overcoat and rug. I could find no trace of them anywhere.
This looked like some new scheme of villainy . . .
17 June.--This morning, as I was sitting on the edge of
my bed cudgelling my brains, I heard without a crackling of
whips and pounding and scraping of horses' feet up the
rocky path beyond the courtyard. With joy I hurried to the
window, and saw drive into the yard two great leiter-wagons,
each drawn by eight sturdy horses, and at the head of each
pair a Slovak, with his wide hat, great nail-studded belt,
dirty sheepskin, and high boots. They had also their long
staves in hand. I ran to the door, intending to descend and
try and join them through the main hall, as I thought that
way might be opened for them. Again a shock, my door was
fastened on the outside.
Then I ran to the window and cried to them. They looked
up at me stupidly and pointed, but just then the "hetman" of
the Szgany came out, and seeing them pointing to my window,
said something, at which they laughed.
Henceforth no effort of mine, no piteous cry or agonized
entreaty, would make them even look at me. They resolutely
turned away. The leiter-wagons contained great, square boxes,
with handles of thick rope. These were evidently empty by
the ease with which the Slovaks handled them, and by their
resonance as they were roughly moved.
When they were all unloaded and packed in a great heap
in one corner of the yard, the Slovaks were given some money
by the Szgany, and spitting on it for luck, lazily went each
to his horse's head. Shortly afterwards, I heard the crackling of their whips die away in the distance.
24 June.--Last night the Count left me early, and locked himself into his own room. As soon as I dared I ran up the
winding stair, and looked out of the window, which opened
South. I thought I would watch for the Count, for there is
something going on. The Szgany are quartered somewhere in the
castle and are doing work of some kind. I know it, for now
and then, I hear a far-away muffled sound as of mattock and
spade, and, whatever it is, it must be the end of some ruthless villainy.
I had been at the window somewhat less than half an
hour, when I saw something coming out of the Count's window.
I drew back and watched carefully, and saw the whole man
emerge. It was a new shock to me to find that he had on the
suit of clothes which I had worn whilst travelling here, and
slung over his shoulder the terrible bag which I had seen
the women take away. There could be no doubt as to his quest,
and in my garb, too! This, then, is his new scheme of evil,
that he will allow others to see me, as they think, so that
he may both leave evidence that I have been seen in the
towns or villages posting my own letters, and that any
wickedness which he may do shall by the local people be
attributed to me.
It makes me rage to think that this can go on, and
whilst I am shut up here, a veritable prisoner, but without
that protection of the law which is even a criminal's right
and consolation.
I thought I would watch for the Count's return, and for
a long time sat doggedly at the window. Then I began to notice that there were some quaint little specks floating in
the rays of the moonlight. They were like the tiniest grains
of dust, and they whirled round and gathered in clusters in a
nebulous sort of way. I watched them with a sense of soothing,
and a sort of calm stole over me. I leaned back in the embrasure in a more comfortable position, so that I could enjoy
more fully the aerial gambolling.
Something made me start up, a low, piteous howling of
dogs somewhere far below in the valley, which was hidden
from my sight. Louder it seemed to ring in my ears, and the
floating moats of dust to take new shapes to the sound as
they danced in the moonlight. I felt myself struggling to
awake to some call of my instincts. Nay, my very soul was
struggling, and my half-remembered sensibilities were striving to answer the call. I was becoming hypnotised!
Quicker and quicker danced the dust. The moonbeams seemed to quiver as they went by me into the mass of gloom
beyond. More and more they gathered till they seemed to take
dim phantom shapes. And then I started, broad awake and in
full possession of my senses, and ran screaming from the
place.
The phantom shapes, which were becoming gradually materialised from the moonbeams, were those three ghostly women
to whom I was doomed.
I fled, and felt somewhat safer in my own room, where
there was no moonlight, and where the lamp was burning
brightly.
When a couple of hours had passed I heard something
stirring in the Count's room, something like a sharp wail
quickly suppressed. And then there was silence, deep, awful
silence, which chilled me. With a beating heart, I tried the
door, but I was locked in my prison, and could do nothing. I
sat down and simply cried.
As I sat I heard a sound in the courtyard without, the
agonised cry of a woman. I rushed to the window, and throwing it up, peered between the bars.
There, indeed, was a woman with dishevelled hair, holding her hands over her heart as one distressed with running.
She was leaning against the corner of the gateway. When she
saw my face at the window she threw herself forward, and
shouted in a voice laden with menace, "Monster, give me my
child!"
She threw herself on her knees, and raising up her hands,
cried the same words in tones which wrung my heart. Then she
tore her hair and beat her breast, and abandoned herself to
all the violences of extravagant emotion. Finally, she threw
herself forward, and though I could not see her, I could hear
the beating of her naked hands against the door.
Somewhere high overhead, probably on the tower, I heard
the voice of the Count calling in his harsh, metallic whisper.
His call seemed to be answered from far and wide by the howling of wolves. Before many minutes had passed a pack of them
poured, like a pent-up dam when liberated, through the wide
entrance into the courtyard.
There was no cry from the woman, and the howling of the
wolves was but short. Before long they streamed away singly,
licking their lips.
I could not pity her, for I knew now what had become of
her child, and she was better dead.
What shall I do? What can I do? How can I escape from
this dreadful thing of night, gloom, and fear?
25 June.--No man knows till he has suffered from the
night how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning
can be. When the sun grew so high this morning that it
struck the top of the great gateway opposite my window, the
high spot which it touched seemed to me as if the dove from
the ark had lighted there. My fear fell from me as if it
had been a vaporous garment which dissolved in the warmth.
I must take action of some sort whilst the courage of
the day is upon me. Last night one of my post-dated letters
went to post, the first of that fatal series which is to
blot out the very traces of my existence from the earth.
Let me not think of it. Action!
It has always been at night-time that I have been molested or threatened, or in some way in danger or in fear.
I have not yet seen the Count in the daylight. Can it be
that he sleeps when others wake, that he may be awake whilst
they sleep? If I could only get into his room! But there is
no possible way. The door is always locked, no way for me.
Yes, there is a way, if one dares to take it. Where his
body has gone why may not another body go? I have seen him
myself crawl from his window. Why should not I imitate him,
and go in by his window? The chances are desperate, but my
need is more desperate still. I shall risk it. At the worst
it can only be death, and a man's death is not a calf's, and
the dreaded Hereafter may still be open to me. God help me
in my task! Goodbye, Mina, if I fail. Goodbye, my faithful
friend and second father. Goodbye, all, and last of all Mina!
Same day, later.--I have made the effort, and God helping me, have come safely back to this room. I must put down
every detail in order. I went whilst my courage was fresh
straight to the window on the south side, and at once got
outside on this side. The stones are big and roughly cut, and
the mortar has by process of time been washed away between
them. I took off my boots, and ventured out on the desperate
way. I looked down once, so as to make sure that a sudden
glimpse of the awful depth would not overcome me, but after
that kept my eyes away from it. I know pretty well the direction and distance of the Count's window, and made for it as
well as I could, having regard to the opportunities available.
I did not feel dizzy, I suppose I was too excited, and the
time seemed ridiculously short till I found myself standing
on the window sill and trying to raise up the sash. I was
filled with agitation, however, when I bent down and slid
feet foremost in through the window. Then I looked around for
the Count, but with surprise and gladness, made a discovery.
The room was empty! It was barely furnished with odd things,
which seemed to have never been used.
The furniture was something the same style as that in
the south rooms, and was covered with dust. I looked for the
key, but it was not in the lock, and I could not find it anywhere. The only thing I found was a great heap of gold in
one corner, gold of all kinds, Roman, and British, and Austrian, and Hungarian,and Greek and Turkish money, covered with
a film of dust, as though it had lain long in the ground.
None of it that I noticed was less than three hundred years
old. There were also chains and ornaments, some jewelled, but
all of them old and stained.
At one corner of the room was a heavy door. I tried it,
for, since I could not find the key of the room or the key
of the outer door, which was the main object of my search, I
must make further examination, or all my efforts would be
in vain. It was open, and led through a stone passage to a
circular stairway, which went steeply down.
I descended, minding carefully where I went for the
stairs were dark, being only lit by loopholes in the heavy
masonry. At the bottom there was a dark, tunnel-like passage, through which came a deathly, sickly odour, the odour
of old earth newly turned. As I went through the passage
the smell grew closer and heavier. At last I pulled open
a heavy door which stood ajar, and found myself in an old
ruined chapel, which had evidently been used as a graveyard.
The roof was broken, and in two places were steps leading to
vaults, but the ground had recently been dug over, and the
earth placed in great wooden boxes, manifestly those which
had been brought by the Slovaks.
There was nobody about, and I made a search over every
inch of the ground, so as not to lose a chance. I went down
even into the vaults, where the dim light struggled, although
to do so was a dread to my very soul. Into two of these I
went, but saw nothing except fragments of old coffins and
piles of dust. In the third, however, I made a discovery.
There, in one of the great boxes, of which there were
fifty in all, on a pile of newly dug earth, lay the Count!
He was either dead or asleep. I could not say which, for eyes
were open and stony, but without the glassiness of death, and
the cheeks had the warmth of life through all their pallor.
The lips were as red as ever. But there was no sign of movement, no pulse, no breath, no beating of the heart.
I bent over him, and tried to find any sign of life,
but in vain. He could not have lain there long, for the
earthy smell would have passed away in a few hours. By the
side of the box was its cover, pierced with holes here and
there. I thought he might have the keys on him, but when I
went to search I saw the dead eyes, and in them dead though
they were, such a look of hate, though unconscious of me or
my presence, that I fled from the place, and leaving the
Count's room by the window, crawled again up the castle wall.
Regaining my room, I threw myself panting upon the bed and
tried to think.
29 June.--Today is the date of my last letter, and the
Count has taken steps to prove that it was genuine, for again
I saw him leave the castle by the same window, and in my
clothes. As he went down the wall, lizard fashion, I wished
I had a gun or some lethal weapon, that I might destroy him.
But I fear that no weapon wrought along by man's hand would
have any effect on him. I dared not wait to see him return,
for I feared to see those weird sisters. I came back to the
library, and read there till I fell asleep.
I was awakened by the Count, who looked at me as grimly
as a man could look as he said,"Tomorrow, my friend, we must
part. You return to your beautiful England, I to some work
which may have such an end that we may never meet. Your letter home has been despatched. Tomorrow I shall not be here,
but all shall be ready for your journey. In the morning come
the Szgany, who have some labours of their own here, and also come some Slovaks. When they have gone, my carriage
shall come for you, and shall bear you to the Borgo Pass to
meet the diligence from Bukovina to Bistritz. But I am in
hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula."
I suspected him, and determined to test his sincerity.
Sincerity! It seems like a profanation of the word to write
it in connection with such a monster, so I asked him pointblank, "Why may I not go tonight?"
"Because, dear sir, my coachman and horses are away on
a mission."
"But I would walk with pleasure. I want to get away at
once."
He smiled, such a soft, smooth, diabolical smile that I
knew there was some trick behind his smoothness. He said,
"And your baggage?"
"I do not care about it. I can send for it some other
time."
The Count stood up, and said, with a sweet courtesy
which made me rub my eyes, it seemed so real, "You English
have a saying which is close to my heart, for its spirit is
that which rules our boyars, `Welcome the coming, speed the
parting guest.' Come with me, my dear young friend. Not an
hour shall you wait in my house against your will, though sad
am I at your going, and that you so suddenly desire it. Come!"
With a stately gravity, he, with the lamp, preceded me down
the stairs and along the hall. Suddenly he stopped. "Hark!"
Close at hand came the howling of many wolves. It was
almost as if the sound sprang up at the rising of his hand,
just as the music of a great orchestra seems to leap under
the baton of the conductor. After a pause of a moment, he
proceeded, in his stately way, to the door, drew back the
ponderous bolts, unhooked the heavy chains, and began to
draw it open.
To my intense astonishment I saw that it was unlocked.
Suspiciously, I looked all round, but could see no key of
any kind.
As the door began to open, the howling of the wolves
without grew louder and angrier. Their red jaws, with champing teeth, and their blunt-clawed feet as they leaped, came
in through the opening door. I knew than that to struggle
at the moment against the Count was useless. With such allies
as these at his command, I could do nothing.
But still the door continued slowly to open, and only
the Count's body stood in the gap. Suddenly it struck me
that this might be the moment and means of my doom. I was to
be given to the wolves, and at my own instigation. There was
a diabolical wickedness in the idea great enough for the
Count, and as the last chance I cried out, "Shut the door! I
shall wait till morning." And I covered my face with my
hands to hide my tears of bitter disappointment.
With one sweep of his powerful arm, the Count threw the
door shut, and the great bolts clanged and echoed through
the hall as they shot back into their places.
In silence we returned to the library, and after a minute or two I went to my own room. The last I saw of Count
Dracula was his kissing his hand to me, with a red light of
triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell
might be proud of.
When I was in my room and about to lie down, I thought I
heard a whispering at my door. I went to it softly and listened. Unless my ears deceived me, I heard the voice of the
Count.
"Back! Back to your own place! Your time is not yet
come. Wait! Have patience! Tonight is mine. Tomorrow night
is yours!"
There was a low, sweet ripple of laughter, and in a rage
I threw open the door, and saw without the three terrible
women licking their lips. As I appeared, they all joined in
a horrible laugh, and ran away.
I came back to my room and threw myself on my knees. It
is then so near the end? Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Lord, help me,
and those to whom I am dear!
30 June.--These may be the last words I ever write in
this diary. I slept till just before the dawn, and when I
woke threw myself on my knees, for I determined that if Death
came he should find me ready.
At last I felt that subtle change in the air, and knew
that the morning had come. Then came the welcome cock-crow,
and I felt that I was safe. With a glad heart, I opened the
door and ran down the hall. I had seen that the door was
unlocked, and now escape was before me. With hands that
trembled with eagerness, I unhooked the chains and threw
back the massive bolts.
But the door would not move. Despair seized me. I
pulled and pulled at the door, and shook it till, massive as
it was, it rattled in its casement. I could see the bolt shot.
It had been locked after I left the Count.
Then a wild desire took me to obtain the key at any
risk, and I determined then and there to scale the wall again,
and gain the Count's room. He might kill me, but death now
seemed the happier choice of evils. Without a pause I rushed
up to the east window, and scrambled down the wall, as before,
into the Count's room. It was empty, but that was as I expected. I could not see a key anywhere, but the heap of gold
remained. I went through the door in the corner and down the
winding stair and along the dark passage to the old chapel. I
knew now well enough where to find the monster I sought.
The great box was in the same place, close against the
wall, but the lid was laid on it, not fastened down, but
with the nails ready in their places to be hammered home.
I knew I must reach the body for the key, so I raised
the lid, and laid it back against the wall. And then I saw
something which filled my very soul with horror. There lay
the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half restored.
For the white hair and moustache were changed to dark irongrey. The cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed
ruby-red underneath. The mouth was redder than ever, for on
the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the
corners of the mouth and ran down over the chin and neck.
Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh,
for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed
as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood.
He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion.
I shuddered as I bent over to touch him, and every sense
in me revolted at the contact, but I had to search, or I was
lost. The coming night might see my own body a banquet in a
similar war to those horrid three. I felt all over the body,
but no sign could I find of the key. Then I stopped and looked at the Count. There was a mocking smile on the bloated
face which seemed to drive me mad. This was the being I was
helping to transfer to London, where, perhaps, for centuries
to come he might, amongst its teeming millions, satiate his
lust for blood, and create a new and ever-widening circle of
semi-demons to batten on the helpless.
The very thought drove me mad. A terrible desire came
upon me to rid the world of such a monster. There was no
lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high,
struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face. But as
I did so the head turned, and the eyes fell upon me, with all
their blaze of basilisk horror. The sight seemed to paralyze
me, and the shovel turned in my hand and glanced from the
face, merely making a deep gash above the forehead. The shovel fell from my hand across the box, and as I pulled it away
the flange of the blade caught the edge of the lid which
fell over again, and hid the horrid thing from my sight. The
last glimpse I had was of the bloated face, blood-stained and
fixed with a grin of malice which would have held its own in
the nethermost hell.
I thought and thought what should be my next move, but
my brain seemed on fire, and I waited with a despairing feeling growing over me. As I waited I heard in the distance
a gipsy song sung by merry voices coming closer, and through
their song the rolling of heavy wheels and the cracking of
whips. The Szgany and the Slovaks of whom the Count had
spoken were coming. With a last look around and at the box
which contained the vile body, I ran from the place and
gained the Count's room, determined to rush out at the moment
the door should be opened. With strained ears, I listened,
and heard downstairs the grinding of the key in the great
lock and the falling back of the heavy door. There must
have been some other means of entry, or some one had a key
for one of the locked doors.
Then there came the sound of many feet tramping and
dying away in some passage which sent up a clanging echo. I
turned to run down again towards the vault, where I might
find the new entrance, but at the moment there seemed to
come a violent puff of wind, and the door to the winding
stair blew to with a shock that set the dust from the lintels flying. When I ran to push it open, I found that it
was hopelessly fast. I was again a prisoner, and the net
of doom was closing round me more closely.
As I write there is in the passage below a sound of
many tramping feet and the crash of weights being set down
heavily, doubtless the boxes, with their freight of earth.
There was a sound of hammering. It is the box being nailed
down. Now I can hear the heavy feet tramping again along
the hall, with with many other idle feet coming behind them.
The door is shut, the chains rattle. There is a grinding of the key in the lock. I can hear the key withdrawn,
then another door opens and shuts. I hear the creaking of
lock and bolt.
Hark! In the courtyard and down the rocky way the
roll of heavy wheels, the crack of whips, and the chorus of
the Szgany as they pass into the distance.
I am alone in the castle with those horrible women.
Faugh! Mina is a woman, and there is nought in common. They
are devils of the Pit!
I shall not remain alone with them. I shall try to
scale the castle wall farther than I have yet attempted. I
shall take some of the gold with me, lest I want it later. I
may find a way from this dreadful place.
And then away for home! Away to the quickest and nearest train! Away from the cursed spot, from this cursed land,
where the devil and his children still walk with earthly
feet!
At least God's mercy is better than that of those monsters, and the precipice is steep and high. At its foot a
man may sleep, as a man. Goodbye, all. Mina!